Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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