Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just want to make out with him forever
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
