I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
