Don't you send me to vm
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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