He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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