I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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