I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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