Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
