just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
