Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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