What did we do last night that was yellow?
Buhtt sex?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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