How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
