He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
