I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
