I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
