Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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