Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
