Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
