it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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