We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
