thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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