Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
