no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
