I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This is the high leading the old right now
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
