he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize