Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize