I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
