farters have to be the big spoon...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
only you would photoshop your dick
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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