Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
