I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
