My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
