forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
