Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Randomize
