Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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