In the future we'll all be gay
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
