he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
