If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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