I just cut my nipple shaving
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
