Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
