apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
