your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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