actually, I'm a sock model
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
