mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
