i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
