I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
