Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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