You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
