I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
