rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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