yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
