I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
