You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
