Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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