He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
