After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
