just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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