Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
