I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
