You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
