Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I want her autograph on my taint
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
