Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
