and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
