she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my sisters under your porch take her home
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He did a backflip because drugs
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