I wannas sexs uuuuu
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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