hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
