I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize